changing for love
by ishotsherlock
Summary: Gil knew he loved Sara more than anything in this world. But now could he proove it and change for her.
1. Chapter 1

Changing for love .... By ishotsherlock.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my imagination.

A/N: This is sort of A/U. And came from my sick and twisted mind.

Chapter 1.

She had always been told by her father that she was no good, nothing but trouble, a worthless waste of space and that she should have been aborted when they found out her mother was pregnant. She had found that hiding from her father when he came into her room in the middle of the night was a bad idea and would result in another hospital stay, always under a different name if they had to go to the same hospital. If he wasn't verbally abusing her then he was beating her, her mother or brother. But one day that all changed.

The police car pulled up to the front of the house, and even they could hear the screaming and shouting coming from inside. This had been happening since the family had moved in three years ago. At least four times a week one of the neighbours would call and say it was all kicking off in the house. But this time it would be different. The two young cops got out of the car and made their way up to the front door. The taller of the two went to knock, but then noticed that the door was slightly ajar. Getting a weird feeling, he un-holstered his gun, then slowly inched the door open with the toe of his boot. The shouting inside got louder and he tried to make himself heard over the din coming from somewhere inside. "Police.... Police, can you come to the door please." they waited but no-one could hear him over the screaming, so they moved into the house searching rooms as they went. They had one room left and that was the kitchen at the end of the hall, where the shouting was getting louder.

The tall cop spoke again. "Police, can you come to the door please." getting no response from the person shouting incoherently in the room, the two cops opened the door. At first as the door swung open they only saw a normal kitchen but as the door swung wider the sight before them chilled them to the bone. A woman was kneeling over a mans body plunging a knife in over and over and splashing blood across herself and the room with each stroke. The body lying on the floor had an ever growing pool of blood seeping out from all sides, the face was no longer recognisable and the chest was being pulverised by the butchers knife being repeatedly plunged into it by the hysterical woman.

Standing just out of the range of the swinging knife was a young skinny child, with her eyes closed and holding a doll up to her chest, as the knife swung by her again another layer of blood splattered across her front. She was covered in blood from the top of her head to the tip of her bare feet, and shaking uncontrollably. But she made no noise as another layer was added, she just stood there in silence.

The younger cop clamped his hand over his mouth and fled from the house. The taller of the two got onto his radio and requested back up, while trying his hardest not to throw up or pass out. He slowly tried to make his way over to the woman asking her to put the knife down, but all she did was swing the knife at him, catching his arm with the tip. He backed off for a few moments to check his arm, luckily it had only caught his sleeve. Looking up the young cop decided to see if he could get the girl out of the kitchen. He inched his way behind the woman, but as he reached out to get the girls arm, the woman screamed "No, you will never touch us again." as the knife plunged into his stomach. He watched as the woman went back to plunging the knife into the body on the floor. He staggered back against the nearest wall and slumped to the floor holding his stomach with one hand as he sent out an officer down call on his radio. He saw a dish towel hanging from the chair and grabbed it, holding it to his bleeding stomach.

The young cop went back into the house after hearing his partners call, he ran to the kitchen and avoided looking at the mess on the floor, spotting his partner slumped against the wall with a bloody towel clamped to his stomach, he went over to him. "Keep holding that, I'm gonna get you out of here." he grabbed his partner under the arms and dragged him out to the front lawn. He looked up at the screeching of tyres and saw uniforms running towards him. "Straight through, in the kitchen, male DB, woman with a knife and a young girl." he shouted as the other officers ran into the house, the paramedics arrived and started to assess the wounded cop. They quickly got him on to a gurney and started I/V lines on both arms then quickly got him into the waiting ambulance and with sirens and lights they sped out of the road.

In the kitchen three cops lay on the floor holding their legs, the woman had swung the knife so fast that none of them had time to get out of the way. Another cop was on his radio requesting medical assistance while trying to keep the woman's legs from kicking him in the head, he looked over at the other three laying on the hysterical woman all of them trying to keep her under control and only just managing to.

The little girl still stood shaking in the same place as before, but now she had her eyes open and was looking at the mess in front of her. Her mother had four cops holding her down, but she was still struggling. Her father lay in front of her, his blood was now surrounding her feet. She didn't recognise him any more, his face and chest was just bloody pulp, but all she could think was "I'm free, he can't hurt me anymore... no-one will ever hurt me again like he did." she then did something she had not done in a long time, she smiled, it was small but it was there.

Someone gently took her hand and led her outside, she heard the young cop being sick next to the door, she heard one of the neighbours tell the woman holding her hand that her name was Sara Sidle. She saw the looks of pity on peoples faces as she sat in the cop car and the same looks on the people in the hospital after she had been examined. Again the same pitying looks in the home she was placed in the next night. But a year later the looks changed at the library when one of the librarians found her reading a book on dominant and submissive relationships.

So now she knew, not only that her father had been an asshole but that he also had a dominant side to him that only showed itself at home, and that's when Sara made the promise to herself, she would never be the submissive in any relationship and no-one would ever treat her the way her father had treated her.

A/N: Hi everybody let me know if you would like me to continue this weird story.

Amanda :D


	2. Chapter 2

Changing for love... By ishotsherlock.

Disclaimer: Still don't own them, damn it.

A/N: Sorry this has taken a while but my muse went on holiday to a sunny climate and has only just come back. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter and said they would like for me to continue. So here is the next chapter. Oh and if you get the chance listen to the song "You belong to me" by Jo Stafford it is sooo a GSR song, if you don't agree let me know.

Chapter 2.

Gil sat on the stairs , Sara called it his thinking spot, and remembered the first time he had sat on any stairs. It had been a forty four year ago, the day his dad had passed away, he had watched as his parents dance slowly to the song "You belong to me" by Jo Stafford. He had watched the baseball game with his dad and then everything had changed. During the days that followed he had to act like an adult, helping his mom arrange arrange a funeral and then having to talk to all the relatives, because none of them knew how to sign. But at night in his room he was just a scared little boy who's mom couldn't hear him crying and cursing at his dad for leaving them, which made him cry harder until exhaustion made him sleep.

Soon after the funeral they had settled into a routine, as soon as he came through the door his mom would start with the orders "Do your home work, Do your chores, Have a bath, Do this, Do that, That's the wrong way do it this way." and she wouldn't stop until he had gone to bed, but he knew it would all start again when he got up, and all he would sign back was "Yes mom." and at that young age he didn't realise that his mom dominated his life just like she dominated his dads life when he was alive.

One day it all changed for him. He had just walked through the door and was trying to avoid looking at his mom, but his mom stepped in his way and when he still didn't look up she gently lifted his chin. She saw the blood dripping from his nose, mouth and ear, his left eye was swollen shut. She put her hand on his shoulder and he winced and cried out. She told him to take his shirt off and when he did she saw the bruises, all over his upper body, in different stages of healing.

"What happened to you." she signed to him.

"Nothing." he replied

"Gilbert Gregory Grissom, tell me now what happened to you."

He explained how for the last few months a few of the boys at school had started to pick on him and then progressed to beating him every day and that todays beating had lasted over half hour and how he had never lifted a finger to fight them off because his mom taught him better than that, and how he didn't want to disappoint her. She looked at her son and was ashamed of herself, she realised that she had turned her son into a submissive, who would and had taken a beating and not lifted a finger to stop it.

Gil told his mom that he felt dizzy just before he passed out cold. Later he woke in the hospital with his mom crying by his bedside. She told him how sorry she was and that things would change.

A few months later Gil stood waiting for a group of boys to approach him and before they had time to know what saw happening three of them were on the floor with broken noses and the last one had just received a knee to the groin and as he was falling forward Gils fist hit him square in the face, the boy landed on the ground with a thud. Gil turned and walked away. The next day he walked into his new school and started a new phase of his life, as he became a ghost. But the would always remember the lessons his mother taught him, never again would he be a submissive in anything.

But Sara had just asked the impossible and now he had a decision to make he knew he loved Sara but could he change for love, he had a feeling he would be here for a while.

_**TO BE CONTINUED.**_

I know short chapter but I wanted to get something out before I went completely insane.


	3. Chapter 3

Changing for love.... By ishotsherlock.

A/N: Sorry this is a little late but some idiot from another site sent me an email that had a virus, So I have spent the last few days having my comp wiped clean and then putting all of my programs back on it, which took eight hours. I am sooo glad I always keep a copy of my stories on a flash drive.

A/N 2: **A BIG THANK YOU** to** KudostoGill **for sending me the sexy picture of William Petersen (That is now framed and on my mantle).

Chapter 3.

Sara stood in the kitchen doorway and watched Gil. He had been sitting in the same spot on the stairs for the last few hours, she thought it was best to just let him sit and think, she made her way back into their bedroom and lay on the bed, thinking about what had happened earlier in the day.

_Sara quickly woke from the nightmare she was having, sitting up quickly she scanned the room looking hard at the shadows and trying to see if her dad was going to come out of them. After a while her heart rate and breathing started to calm down as the dream slowly faded, she lay back down and was immediately engulfed in Gil's arms as he pulled her tighter to his chest. She smiled and gently stroked the sleeping mans cheek as he started to mumble, "You're mine Sara...all mine."she didn't hear as he mumbled about the dancing bunny's and the reindeer with slippers on their antlers. Slowly Sara got out of bed and quietly walked to the kitchen, as she was wiping the tears from her face she looked around the kitchen, nearly everything in the room had come from Gil's home. She went from room to room and it was all the same his stuff dominated the room with the odd piece coming from her apartment, the only room that had only her furniture in was her office and the thought suddenly hit her... she had become the submissive in this relationship, and it scared her._

_Sara didn't know how long she sat on the couch thinking about the last five years and how over time she had changed, she picked a typical day to assess. After they had woke up, it would be Gil's choice if they fooled around or just hopped in the shower. Then he would make breakfast while she took Bruno for a walk, sometimes he would even pick what she would wear to work. Then at work he gave the orders and the rest of them followed._

_I've turned into my mother, she was jolted from this thought when a cup of coffee was waved in front of her nose and Gil sat next to her. "Penny for them." he asked._

_"Gil, you scared the heck out of me."Sara shouted._

_"Sorry, but when you didn't move after I called you for the fifth time I thought I would come to you."_

_"Gil, I think we need to talk." Sara said as she looked down into her coffee cup._

_"Sara, honey what is it...is something wrong, are y..y...you p..p...pregnant." he stammered._

_She looked at him like an alien had just stuck its head out of his nose and waved at her, and that's when she started laughing,it took her a moment to calm down "Why is that the first thought through your mind."_

_"Well we haven't been using protection for a few weeks, since we decided to try for a child and I just hoped...." he went quiet._

_"Gil first off it could take a while for me to get pregnant, and secondly it was you who decided it was time to start a family."_

_"What does that mean, I decided it was time, we discussed it."_

_"No Gil you looked at me one day and told me you were ready to start a family, and when I got home from work you had chucked all of my pills. This is why I needed to talk to you. I have had some time to think about our relationship." as she said this she watched as all the colour drained from his face. "No no, that's not what I meant."_

_"Well why don't you tell me." he sounded hurt._

_"I realised something while I sat here... I have turned into my mother." at the puzzled look on his face she continued "I looked around the apartment toddy and except for my office everything here is yours. It was the same in my parents house, nothing there belonged to my mother and look where she is now. I realised that I have become the submissive and its scaring me, the last time I was like this was when I was a child and I swore I would never go back to being that. And now you want to start a family and that scares me more." by this time Sara had tears streaming down her cheeks, she got up and walked through to the kitchen and Gil followed her, he sat on the stairs and waited for Sara to continue._

_"Gil, for three years now I have changed for you, until I met you I was always the dominant person then we started to see each other and now I am submissive, but now were trying for a child and I don't want any child of mine living in a home where one parent dominates the other. So what I would like is for just one month... one week... even just for one day... just to get my sense of self back is not to be the submissive one in this relationship. I know its asking a lot and it means you will have to let go of your dominant side, but can you do this for me, for us."_

_"Sara, give me some time to think about this... please."_

And that's how Gil ended up sitting on his thinking step for hours and Sara laying on the bed waiting for his answer. She felt the bed dip on her side, so she looked at the man sitting next to her.

"Okay Sara, I'll do it."

_**TO BE CONTINUED.**_

A/N: Sorry this is a short chapter but I wanted to get something out before my brother takes my computer and installs a serious virus protection on it.


	4. Chapter 4

Changing for love ... By ishotsherlock.

A/N: I have finally got my computer back, and it has a very good virus protection on it now that will scan all of my e-mail (thanks to my brother for fixing it). I hope you all had a great Christmas.

chapter 4.

Gil felt like he was a child again as he stood facing a wall in a corner of the living room after he suggested that they asked Heather for advice. He snuck a peak at his watch, he had been there for an hour so far. He had tried to apologise repeatedly to Sara but she wouldn't listen to him. He could hear her tapping away at her computer keys and wondered what she was looking up, he sighed and leaned his head on the cold wall. While leaning there he had gone over their last conversation.

_They were sitting on the couch looking at each other as Sara started to talk. "Nothing changes at work, I think if it did the guys would get suspicious and start asking questions. No staying at work pretending you are doing paperwork to avoid coming home, I will give you a time to be home by and unless you have a meeting or are working a double that's when you will be home. Once we are out of the lab it goes back to my rules, okay at the moment I don't know what some of the rules will be but I thought as a punishment for not following them or upsetting me you have to stand in the corner and be quiet until I tell you it is okay to come out and then you will apologise. The rest of the rules, I think we should find out what they should be, perhaps we could look them up or something."_

_"How about we ask Heather, or go over to the dominion and have a look..." he stopped talking as Sara glared at him. Oh shit what had he said to upset her. He watched as she raised her arm and pointed to the furthest corner from them._

_"Get in the corner Gilbert." he slowly got to his feet and walked to the corner, he turned and faced her. "Turn around and face the wall." she said without even looking at him. He did as he was told._

And that's how he ended up here, thinking. All he had said was Heather and they had talked about her before... oh shit no they hadn't, Sara had asked a few times but he had always changed the subject to something else or making love to her, and now he was in it up to his neck.

Half an hour went by before Sara spoke to him. "Gilbert, you can come back over here now." she said quietly.

Oh no, not a good sign, she had used his full first name and she only did that when she was really mad. Slowly he made his way over to the couch and stood beside Sara. "Sweetheart, I am so sorry for saying that earlier."

"For a start Gilbert, don't ever call me sweetheart, I have never liked being called that, and HER name and that place will never be mentioned in this house again,got it." she emphasised this with a finger jabbed to his chest.

"Yes Sara." he said quietly.

"Now, while you have been over there I have been doing some research, most of the sights I have come across have just been about the dominant and submissive sex, but that is not the sort of kinky relationship we need. Now sit down and I will show you some of the others."

Gil sat on the couch but kept a bit of space between them,until he noticed Sara looking at him and then the space, so he moved over until their legs were touching. He watched as Sara brought up a web site.

"This one says that men grow up being disciplined and nurtured by woman and that deep inside they still desire this. How did you feel earlier when you were stood in the corner."

"I felt like a child again." he said looking at his hands.

"I have book marked some sites you should look at while I go and make some coffee, because I think we will both be needing it by the time you have finished reading." she didn't give him a chance to reply as she got up and went into the kitchen.

Gil clicked on the first site and began reading, he noticed the words that kept popping up, "The woman needs to be cherished, the woman has the control, the woman should not be taken for granted, the submissive should worship the woman and please her by doing things for her and getting gifts for her." site after site and it said almost the same. And then a line caught his attention "The alpha male during courtship becomes the submissive until the couple are in a long term relationship or married and it is at that point when society says he must be the dominant protective one that he reverts back to being the alpha male and that the female is then made to be the submissive one in the relationship."

He thought back to when they started dating and how he would buy her gifts and take her to her favourite restaurant. He couldn't think of the last gift he had brought her or when they had last gone to her favourite restaurant or when they had last gone out to anything not work related.

He felt the seat dip as Sara sat down next to him, and he couldn't look at her he felt so ashamed "I am so sorry Sara, I realise it is all my fault, promise we can make it better, please Sara, promise me."

Sara saw the tears dripping onto his shirt and knew she had to be strong for both of them, she pulled him to her and whispered to him that she promised they would get through this. She lay him down so his head was on her lap and his arms hugged her close as she began stroking his hair. Soon his sobs quietened, she looked down at the sleeping man. When he had woke up this morning he was the dominant person that she had fallen in love with, but now he was like a little boy who had just been told off, she knew he would change for her, for love, for their future child.

_**TO BE CONTINUED.**_

A/N: I know this is short, but hey I only got my computer back a few hours ago and wanted to put something up for you wonderful readers.

Amanda.


	5. Chapter 5

Changing for love... By ishotsherlock.

A/N: Hello all, I hope you all had a great christmas and will all have a wonderfull new year.

Chapter 5.

Sara woke to the sound of tapping, she opened her eyes and saw that Gil was sending an e-mail to some-one. She watched as he sent it then took a sip from his coffee mug, she was just about to ask him about it when he got a reply, so now she did something she would normally never do... she read his e-mail when he opened it.

To: Gilbert_Bugmangmail

From: Mistress_Clarissagmail

Subject: Learning to be better

Hello, yes I can give you some starting pointers for you to become the perfect submissive for your future wife. First let me put out an invitation to you both, I would like for you two to come to my house and meet Andrew, my husband and submissive. Now for you to become the perfect partner for your future wife, you have to be learn the rules and stick to them. Now each couple have different rules that they follow, some like the BDSM life style and others prefer the non BDSM life style while others choose a mix of both, for me to properly advise you I would need to know what lifestyle your partner and you are looking at, so if you could let me know I can then tell you some of the rules that you will need to help.

Mistress Clarissa

Ps, If possible I would like to talk to your partner next time and discuss some things with her.

"Gil, what are you doing." Sara asked sitting up.

"Oh... I was looking at some of the sites from last night and one of them had an e-mail address so you could ask questions... so I thought I would ask for some advice." the last part was said quietly and looking at the floor.

"That was very thoughtful of you Gil. Now I think you should go and make breakfast while I reply to mistress Clarissa, this morning I think we should have strawberry pancakes and coffee."

Gil instantly got to his feet "Yes Sara." then went into the kitchen.

She smiled to herself as she watched Gil enter the kitchen, he was really taking this seriously. Sara re-read the note from Mistress Clarissa and started to type her reply.

To: Mistress_Clarissagmail

From: Gilbert_Bugmangmail

Subject: Learning to be better

Hello, my name is Sara, when would be a good time to talk.

She hit send then sat back and waited for a reply, which she got a few moments later.

To: Gilbert_Bugmangmail

From: Mistress_Clarissagmail

Subject:Learning to be better

Hello Sara, Gilbert didn't go into much detail in his previous e-mail and I would like to ask you a few questions, most importantly why are you both choosing to start this life style, and will you both be committed to it. Andrew will be back from work in two hours and I would like for you both to meet us before you make your decision. Clarissa.

Sara sat back on the couch and thought about what she had just read, it would be good to meet with the couple, just to ask questions, but she knew the risks of going to some strangers house, and she didn't even know if they were in the same state let alone the same country. Sitting forward Sara typed another e-mail to Clarissa and told her little about herself and Gil and why they were going to try the new life style, but left out where they worked. The last thing in the e-mail asked where about's they lived.

While she was waiting for a reply Gil came over with their breakfast, he handed Sara her's first before he sat down next to her. Sara had just taken a mouthful of food when the message tone on the computer sounded, the message said.

I think that is a good enough reason. We live on cedar street, carver park, las Vegas Nevada. I know you are probably worried about coming to a strange house so if there is any public place you would like to meet let me know a time and we will be there. Clarissa.

Sara thought for a minute while she finished her food, of the places in-between Henderson and Carver park, then she remembered Sally's diner, it was a place where they had lunch once and it always had off and on duty cops in there. Sara typed the name and address of Sally's diner and asked to meet at one o'clock

The short reply said that they will be there and that she was looking forward to meeting them.

Sara looked at Gil "Okay later on we are going out to meet with Clarissa and her husband and you will be nice to them. We have six hours to kill before we have to leave so what do say to getting back in bed and fooling around for a while." as she was saying this she had straddled his lap and linked her hands behind his head, she could feel him getting aroused as she began moving her hips.

"What ever you want my love." he said as he placed his hands on her hips pulling her in closer and leaning in for a kiss. As Sara deepened the kiss she felt Gil trying to lay her back on the couch so that he was on top. She stopped the kiss and stood up, slowly she took her clothes off, then looked at him "Stand up and strip for me, very slowly."

Gil watched as Sara sat on the middle of the couch, just out of his reach, he got to his feet and stood in front of her and slowly began to unbutton his shirt, he kept his eyes locked on Sara's all the time. After his shirt had landed in a pile at her feet he started on his trousers, he watched as Sara raised her hand and began licking her fingers, he let out a moan as he unzipped his fly feeling a little relief. As he lowered his trousers he watched as Sara's hand made its way down her body and rested in the curls between her legs making him moan again. He kicked his trousers away from him and gently removed his boxers while watching Sara as she began to touch herself.

As soon as his boxers hit the floor he was leaning over her, but it didn't last long as Sara wriggled her way out from under him and stood up, Gil turned and sat looking at her "lay down Gil, I'm gonna make love to you for a change." she said as she helped him lay down on the couch and then straddled his thighs. She started out slowly running her tongue over every part of his body. When he tried to take over Sara moved his hands behind his head and continued with the slow torture of his nipples then moved on to the rest of body, finally after half an hour of licking, sucking, kissing and marking his body she finally took his length into her mouth and continued with her slow torturous ministrations. After an hour of bringing him to the brink of orgasm again and again then slowing down as if she had stopped, he had finally had enough and began begging Sara to let him enter her, so she took him into her warm body and rode him, again bringing them both to the brink then slowing. Finally she had had enough and could wait no more so she rode him hard until she felt him release his seed inside her, both of them reaching their climax at the same time.

Sara collapsed on to Gil's chest and felt his arms surround her, she listened as his heart beat began to slow and when he had finally caught his breath he said "Wow if I had known submitting to you would result in that, I should have done it years ago." a few moments later they were both asleep with Gil still sheathed inside Sara.

_**TO BE CONTINUED.**_


	6. Just a quick note

Hi,

Just wanted to let you all know that after quite a few horrible private messages sent to me on my email address, that have really upset me, I will be taking a break from writing for a while. To those of you that have been reading, reviewing and supporting my stories I really apologise and hope you will forgive me for not finishing Changing for love but after the last message I just can't go on with it at the moment.

Again sorry.

Amanda :(


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